2015 Fall Movie Lessons

May contain spoilers.

1. If no one saw it, it didn’t happen – even murder. (Black Mass)

2. If a member of the mob asks about your secret family recipe, he’s not making polite conversation. He’s testing your loyalty. (Black Mass)

3. When negotiating POW swap situations in Germany, always pack an extra coat, in case yours gets nicked. (Bridge of Spies)

4. In the same situation, it’s also wise to order one breakfast item at a time, in case you are interrupted and have to leave. (Bridge of Spies)

5. Burger King and French peasant food have much in common: they’re both monotonous for one thing. (Burnt)

6. If the maître d’ of your restaurant has a crush on you, you can get away with destroying whole sections of your kitchen on a regular basis. (Burnt)

7. Once you capture an elderly dictator in failing health, it’s all right to let him wander around the property; he can’t possibly escape. (The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2)

8. When living in a dystopian world, it’s better to end up with a lover, not a fighter. (The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2)

9. Breaking into your boss’s mom’s home and stealing her computer is a perfectly acceptable way to keep your boss from embarrassing herself with rogue emails. (The Intern)

10. Discussing where you would like to be buried is also acceptable when making conversation with an intern who’s a good thirty years older. Particularly when wearing nothing but a bathrobe. (The Intern)

11. Even the most thorough investigations to find a distraction may only yield a handful of dead flies in the end. (Pawn Sacrifice)

12. Even chess-playing priests who are your biggest fan have a limit to their goodwill as travel companions. (Pawn Sacrifice)

13. The period right before your ex has a product launch is not a good time to demand he ante up child support. (Steve Jobs)

14. Oddly enough, some people consider issuing contradictory orders grounds for dismissing your from your own company. (Steve Jobs)

15. One of the few good things about a natural disaster is that it may help your wife and mistress reconcile, or at least stop squabbling. (The 33)

16. Thinking outside the box may end up saving a great deal of lives. Paying attention to what your employees tell you avoids having to do that in the first place. (The 33)

17. Always insist on seeing a photo of your estranged grandparents before you stay with them for an extended period. (The Visit)

18. Never let the fact that your “grandparents” are trying to kill you stop you from filming your documentary. (The Visit)

19. Hiking the Appalachian Trail is a good way to avoid detection by unwanted authorities. (A Walk in the Woods)

20. Even overly flirtatious, plus-size women may wind up having rabidly protective husbands. (A Walk in the Woods)

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