A Look Back: The Breakfast Club

THE BREAKFAST CLUB: THE SUPER-ABRIDGED VERSION

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT

ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL’S REAL LIFE MOM
“You better find a way to study during your all-day detention, or you won’t get into the Ivy League, and I won’t love you anymore.”

ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL
“Wow, we’re starting early in establishing that all these characters have clueless, unsympathetic families….No, I mean, sure, Mom.”

FADE IN
INT. A SCHOOL LIBRARY

PAUL GLEASON
“I’m a bitter ass who resents every minute I must spend with these teenagers, but whose antagonism will give the characters something to unite and rebel against, thus proving I am of some use after all….OK, kids, have fun and don’t forget to write me an essay telling me just who you think you are!  Bye now.”

JUDD NELSON
“My hardened, cynical exterior masks an abused, scared, vulnerable little boy.  Fortunately, my bullying of my fellow library inmates will eventually morph into confessions of a personal nature, which will in turn, make me more attractive to the opposite sex, and help me begin to heal!  Forget professionally trained therapists.”

MOLLY RINGWALD
“I’m a poor little rich girl who, in classic teen movie tradition, needs to hook up with a juvenile delinquent, smoke some weed and learn how to chill out.  Fortunately, JUDD NELSON is trapped in this place with me.”

EMILIO ESTEVEZ
“I’m a jock, whose father rides him constantly and makes him feel inadequate.  It made me bully someone, hence why I’m here today, but really, I’m a nice guy.”

ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL
“I’m a brain, whose parents also pressure him constantly and make him so miserable he brought a gun to school.  OK, not a real gun, but…”

ALLY SHEEDY
“I’m just really, really, really weird because my parents constantly ignore me.  But – major plot point alert – I clean up well.”

JUDD NELSON
“Hey, being open with my peers isn’t as threatening as I thought.  Did you know, my father beats me? Look, here’s the mark to prove it.”

(Movie tone and audience mood suddenly nosedives)

MOLLY RINGWALD
“You win.  Boy, this movie got grim all of a sudden.”

ALLY SHEEDY
“Why don’t we smoke some weed in order to chill out , and then Molly can give me a makeover, so I can win the heart of EMILIO.  Wait, why do I need a love interest?  And a makeover?   Couldn’t I just make friends with these guys, or find a way to tell my folks how much their neglect hurts me?”

DIRECTOR JOHN HUGHES
“No, because Molly is going to hook up with Judd, and Anthony is going to write the required essay.  And this movie needs some romance. Plus I want the end to be ambiguous.  So there aren’t going to be any extended scenes with any of these allegedly abusive parents.”

ALLY SHEEDY
“OK, then.”

So, over the course of a single day, the five all bond, and discover that though they are different, they are also alike!  Who knew?

Although they still won’t talk to each other come Monday morning.  Despite the vigorous rendition of the theme song, “Don’t You Forget About Me.”

END