Warning: These contain spoilers.
1. If you take steps to become a more social member of your group, also make sure you avoid antisocial behavior – unless you want your boss to catch and put you on dog cleanup detail.
2. Giving your veteran daughter who is suffering from PTSD a replacement puppy after she returns from serving will only trigger an explosive fight.
3. The magic word when you ambush your Congressman to persuade him to help you adopt a service dog who has a reputation for being unpredictable is “Corporal.”
It Comes At Night
4. There’s a lot of truth to the adage: Guests and fish both start to stink after three days.
5. A teenager who’s been trapped in one place for years on end may not necessarily crave the same junk food that you do, even if you both exist in the same dystopia.
6. Even when at high risk of catching plague, it can be awfully tempting to ignore your host’s strict orders to leave certain always-locked-rooms alone.
All Eyez On Me
7. If your mom’s been incarcerated, you should pay attention when she gives you advice about dealing with jail.
8. If a woman recognizes your Shakespeare quote and quotes some back to you, that’s a good sign you two are compatible.
9. A record label owner who assures you that all his clients are treated “like family,” may have something more sinister in mind.
10. Fleecing one’s neighbors is fine if they’ve just voted to use town funds for a public pool as opposed to your daughter’s college scholarship.
11. Taunting someone who you have always known as a mild-mannered soccer dad may unleash his inner “Butcher,” after he’s had a taste of casino-running.
12. Never underestimate how a close-knit family can overcome any obstacle to get their child to college – even if it involves amputation of the neighbors’ digits, extortion and kidnapping.
Spider-Man: The Homecoming
13. If you are superheroing and can’t figure out who to return a stolen bike to, it’s a good idea to leave a note.
14. If you are going to hack into an upgraded superhero costume, it’s wise to read the instruction manual before field-testing it.
15. If you are going to have a confrontation with your mentor, you should avoid the men’s room at your high school, unless you don’t mind being interrupted in the middle of a monologue by someone who needs to wash his hands.
16. Even delivering an aerial blizzard of suggestions that your opponents surrender when they’re literally between the sea and a hard place, won’t work with plucky Britons (or French).
17. If you keep your mouth completely shut when everyone is arguing about what to do as their ship floods, you might be assumed to be a spy and ousted.
18. Even a pleasure boat can be instrumental in rescuing a beach of stranded soldiers in war time, if there’s a fleet of them.
The Big Sick
19. If you keep all the photos of potential Indian wives your mother fixes you up with in a box, your white girlfriend may stumble on it and assume the worst before you can explain.
20. Doctors with potential emergencies on their hands may strong-arm you into putting your girlfriend into a (medically induced) coma by simply not letting you go until you agree.
21. Meeting the parents after you put said-girlfriend into a coma will not make for the most receptive relationship, but eventually you can overcome this if both sides try.
22. Flattery to the young woman at the front desk of a hotel will get you a room, but that might mean your trouble for the night is just beginning.
23. The adage “innocent until proven guilty” does not apply to anyone the police want to interrogate during a riot.
24. If you eventually sour on performing Motown before racist audiences, you can always make a career change by applying for a job as your church’s choir director.
The Dark Tower
25. When you can’t persuade your mom and stepdad that evil people are about to take you away, you can always fall back on the “I need to use the bathroom,” excuse to escape.
26. Even your closest youthful friends may start putting limits on your relationship if you keep showing up at odd hours with bizarre drawings, babbling about how your imaginary world is real.
27. If you’re a kid, your natural flexibility will come in more handy than any magic powers when you’re outrunning the enemy.
The Glass Castle
28. If your patient’s sister announces on a visit that she should break her arm in order to sample unlimited hospital food, and she’s not kidding, you should probably sic Child Protective Services on that family.
29. Regardless of how much they love you, you will never convince your young kids that traveling at night in the back of an airless moving van is a super fun adventure.
30. If your daughter makes an innocent comment about how school is a good idea for kids her age, it’s okay to risk your family’s life and limb pulling off the road and heading out into the desert in order to show her that she doesn’t “need” school.
The Hitman’s Bodyguard
31. Amsterdam is a great place to have a high speed chase because every single unattended vehicle (and there are a lot) can easily be started by a stranger sans keys.
32. You should avoid taunting Samuel L. Jackson even when he’s in chains because he has one powerful head-butt.
33. You should avoid giving Samuel L. Jackson a speech on character before you die because he will eventually just throw back his head and guffaw. And shove you to your doom.